Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Our anxiety doesn’t come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it. Kahlil Gibran
How does fear play out in our lives? I couldn’t get up this morning because I wrestled with thoughts about a future that hasn’t unfolded yet. Worrying about diverse groups not getting along and fracturing life as I’ve known it, worrying about the leadership of another country and what it might do to mine, and worrying about aging relatives. All of these worries are out of my control, and what I can do something about, I was too tired to do, because I spent all night worrying about what I can’t control.
What can we control? What we eat, what we think, exercise, how we interact with others, our gratitude for what we have, and how we spend the resources we possess. Do we worry as much about the things we can control as about the things we can’t?
We worry about who moves in across the street, even if we never spoke to the occupants who used to live there. What would life look like if we all looked after the little things that become big things? What if we quit envying what others have and worked hard to build a good life for ourselves? If we think it is too late to do something, we might watch someone else and wonder how they did it.
Sometimes I think we know too much about what won’t work, and so it doesn’t work, but watch people who didn’t know they couldn’t change things do exactly that. We don’t try to do things we know we can’t do, but where did this knowledge come from? Learned helplessness is a big deal; we have to watch we don’t let things we think we know work against us.
One of the reasons I love being a member of Toastmasters is that everyone who joins wants to improve something, and watching them improve makes us know we can improve too. It isn’t only speaking; once we start improving in one area of our life, we can see other areas we can make an effort in.
Never mistake the power of influence. Jim Rohn
It’s a bit like decluttering; we can be overwhelmed by how things have piled up, but if we pick a corner and clear it out, we can look at another corner and know it will look better too, and bit by bit we can take back our space. Everything in life can be improved, and sometimes what most needs improvement is our attitude.
What if every situation in our lives can teach us something? What if controlling ourselves, instead of trying to control others or events outside our sphere of influence, is where our power lies?
Is this the year we take control of things inside our sphere of influence and make them better? Does making an effort to talk to people create a better and friendlier society? Decluttering our space, exercising, and eating better make us healthier. Will focusing on gratitude for what we have, instead of on what we lack, build a better life and help us see opportunities in front of us?
What can we do to make our lives and those around us better? If someone sees us taking control, will they realize they can take control, too? Is there a fine line between help and control? We can help others to help themselves, but can too much help be crippling? How do we figure out whether we are helping or hindering others, especially those we love the most?
Are we listening to people tell us how to think instead of thinking for ourselves? Are we fact-checking what we hear at least a little bit instead of letting fear-mongers make us quake and feel powerless? What can we do to fix some of the little things, which will fix some of the big things?
To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well. John Marshall
Anything you read can influence your work, so I try to read good stuff. S. E. Hinton
Choose your habits well. Habit is probably the most powerful tool in your brain’s toolbox. Ray Dalio
Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.