Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
A grandparent is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend. Unknown
Life is for the living. A funeral held for my husband’s paternal uncle last Saturday made the point again; we watched it live on YouTube. He had a long, full life, contributing to the community, raising a family, and outlived his brother, my husband’s father, by thirty years.
Grandparents offer so much to their grandchildren. I watch my husband with our little grandson and granddaughter. If they are lucky, they will have many wonderful years with a doting grandfather. It’s something both my husband and I missed.
I never thought about the blessing I took from my children by moving far from their grandparents. They saw them a few times over the years, but that isn’t the same as having their presence as a constant in their life.
I clicked on an article the other day about how more and more women are embracing single forever as a life choice. Are they embracing it because it’s what they want, or because that’s how life played out, and embracing what is seems the way forward.
It’s hard for me to judge how life as a single forever woman would have panned out. Coming from a big family, it seems it would be lonely because if everyone around you builds a life with a family, you are on the outside looking in. Everyone will include you, but you never feel part of the family unit. Those of us coupled with children can’t imagine living life alone; sometimes we might fantasize about it, but we wouldn’t want the reality of being alone.
What a bargain grandchildren are. I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars’ worth of pleasure. Unknown
A friend gives me the most wonderful news; she’s going to be a grandma. I think of visits Mom had with great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren, special visits for all of them.
Are we wrong, those of us who’ve built a family, to think those who didn’t or couldn’t, missed out on one of the greatest joys in life? Are we failing children today by not being a more child or family-centric society? On Saturday, my husband and I celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary, and we stopped at a Tim Horton’s where hurting souls congregate. I thought, these are somebody’s sons and daughters. What can be done to help them find their place in the world? What choices have brought them to this?
Is it easy not to notice human suffering? Then we step outside our comfort zone and see suffering souls. How do we help, what does help look like, and when is what we think is help enabling poor choices?
It seems to me, watching the funeral of my husband’s uncle, that men like him, as the patriarchs of the family, are part of building strength and resilience in the generations they impact. My husband’s uncle and father came from a family where nine babies were born, but only four lived, and their mother died in childbirth.
My son remarked as we worked on Friday. We don’t hear enough songs about grandfathers. One had just played on the soundtrack we were listening to. When we hear stories of older generations, they leave big shoes to fill. Those of us who are grandparents are the matriarchs and patriarchs of our family, a role that impacts generations. Will we leave big shoes to fill? Is staying close as a family, even if miles separate us, part of it? Living nearby doesn’t always mean a close relationship; maybe the impact of the relationship is the result of making someone feel they matter, and isn’t contingent on time and distance.
Young people need something stable to hang on to – a culture connection, a sense of their own past, a hope for their own future. Most of all, they need what grandparents can give them. Jay Kesler
Self-respect is something that our grandparents, whether or not they had it, knew all about. They had instilled in them, young, a certain discipline, the sense that one lives by doing things one does not particularly want to do, by putting fears and doubts to one side, by weighing immediate comforts against the possibility of larger, even intangible, comforts. Joan Didion
The very old and the very young have something in common that makes it right that they should be left alone together. Dawn and sunset see stars shining in a blue sky; but morning and midday and afternoon do not, poor things. Elizabeth Goudge
Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.