Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Building and repairing relationships are long-term investments. Stephen Covey
How many of us have experienced beautiful relationships that ended? Some relationships die because we didn’t put enough time and effort into maintaining them as we moved on with our lives. People go their separate ways, lose touch, and sometimes we never hear from friends who at one time were the center of our lives.
Sometimes we stay in touch loosely, and other times relationships end in spectacular ways. The rose-colored glasses come off, and someone we saw who had no warts, we now see as having all warts. It happens everywhere, in our families, friendships, workplaces, and governments.
Personalities, ideologies, and circumstances collide, and our relationships can be casualties. We were good until something was said or done that changed everything. We might wish with all our hearts we could go back to what was, but once the fracture happens, there may be no way to repair the breach.
Parents and children, siblings, and friends haven’t spoken in years. Some will go to their grave never speaking to each other again, and some will begin to talk when there is a death in the family. If a brother, sister, mother, or father is not welcome at a wedding, how much of a shadow does it cast?
Petty feuds occur with individuals we thought were above petty feuds, and may blindside us when they happen to us. How do we bridge the chasm between us, and if we can’t bridge it, how do we keep the fallout from affecting everyone around us?
Are there people we need to keep at a distance because the relationship will end badly? Have we watched other relationships end badly and still ventured forth to build one? We might enjoy watching famous relationships implode spectacularly; the clash of titans titillates us on the evening news.
A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you don’t go and buy a new house. You fix the light bulb. Unknown
Watching other people’s relationships, we might wonder how we can make our relationships better, or keep them from devolving into coldness or exploding, and burning ourselves and everyone around us.
Some relationships will end, but if they have to end, do they have to end with vitriol spewed publicly? Isn’t it better to distance ourselves from relationships that no longer serve, without making it public? Some people might think we are being fake, pretending everything is okay, if we still speak to someone we no longer want a relationship with. Isn’t this better than fracturing everyone’s relationship? Sometimes people expect us to take sides, and we are in their bad books if we talk to someone they no longer talk to.
Is it possible to not take sides, and the one who makes us choose loses? Will power dynamics be such that we have to choose a side? We can’t heal someone else’s relationships, and sometimes we can’t even heal our own. Maybe what we can do is bring civility into our lives, so if breaches get healed by others, we haven’t created ones of our own.
Relationship repair just might be the most important skill you can learn for your emotional wellbeing. Unknown
Many good relationships have been broken and ruined by unwise words being spoken in a rage of bitterness, hatred and anger. Words of bitterness filled with hatred and anger breaks up relationships and throws logic and reason out of the window. Errol Anthony Smythe
A good ending to a bad partnership is better than a bad ending to a good one. Unknown
Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.
