Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Drama is for fools. The wise stay calm. Maxime Lagace
Years ago, on a whiteboard I printed a quote by Thomas Jefferson, “I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” Opinions have continued to become increasingly polarized over the years. But the fact he made that quote means they were polarized then. Perhaps we need to learn how to navigate dealing with differing opinions without withdrawing from friends or loved ones. What if this is the lesson we need to learn?
Who knows how to build a fair and just society? Does fairness and justness look the same to everyone?
Conversations at Christmas can get heated, loved ones leave in a huff, or worse yet, aren’t invited because of contentious views. I’m reminded of a quote by Lynn Robinson, “Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?” The quote has stuck, but the book I read it in escapes me.
Many of us would answer, “Of course, we’d rather be happy.” But I wonder if the reverse is true, we think we can only be happy if we are right, and whoever we are talking to must agree we are right.
Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one’s own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others. John F. Kennedy
There are many contentious issues; the issues don’t stand alone, and we have to pick a side. It seems I can only talk about issues with people whose side I align with. People on the other side don’t see the context of the discussion in the same way. We don’t see the history of things the same; we aren’t on the same page, and we aren’t even in the same book.
We like the idea of getting together for Christmas, holidays, and big events, but the reality can be messy and contentious. “Pass the potatoes,” comes with contempt, as people look at someone who voted differently from them as the enemy.
When we know we shouldn’t bring up certain subjects, conversation can seem stilted. What used to be easy camaraderie is uneasy. Am I thinking of a time that didn’t exist? Maybe many of us were never aligned on the same side; we were in the middle of different sides, which almost seemed like the same side until something tipped us to one side or the other.
Becoming a person of fewer words, thinking before speaking, and not commenting on everything, might be the way forward. Are we comfortable with silence, not allowing ourselves to be drawn into a confrontation, and ignoring the jabs coming our way?
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Aristotle
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. Ralph Waldo Emerson
We don’t need to share the same opinions as others, but we need to be respectful. Taylor Swift